**Fade in: Int. home – night** P sits down at her laptop, typing. The sound of her kids' music is blaring through the walls. Their little feet thump against the ground as they dance back and forth across the room. --- Day 1. I'm still figuring out what my creative identity even is. Some days it feels like I have all the ideas and the time to complete something on my own. Other days it feels like I'm flailing, trying to get something done quickly just to satisfy my need for creativity and to execute an idea. I've tried a lot: filmmaking, screenwriting, reels. Whether I'm on set or creating on my own, I keep trying. But none of them have fully settled into something I'd consider myself proud of or completely satisfied with. And that's tough for me. Balancing is hard, to say the least. Balancing motherhood and creativity has been its own kind of production. There's the pre production stage: drafting the idea, debating whether I'll have enough time to complete it, and writing it. Then there's the production stage, actually trying to set everything into motion. I don't know how many of my followers have kids, but if you know, you know. Trying to record anything while having children around can go one of two ways. Either they run into the camera and shift its position (take 1, 2, 3... 53), or they're yelling for something in the background. Between writing, parenting, and filming, creating in the way that I want to is challenging. But this blog, this progress punch, this update, this behind the scenes, is a testament and a guide for how I find my way toward it. So as I try to find a happy medium between quality, satisfaction, and getting my work out into the world, I find myself here, blogging. Take 3 on this post at 1 a.m. Transparency between my creative spirit and my maternal, loving, motherly duties will hopefully show the truth of what it's like to want to create, and to find the right time and peace of mind to actually do it. Bookmark this blog and check back in for updates, thank you for being here. Welcome to my behind the scenes.